Death, Life, and What to do in Between

My friend died last night. He was hit by a semi-truck on the freeway and he died. I only knew him for a few months in Oxford: He was a wonderful boy with an amazing sense of humor, a great curiosity about people, perpetually tan skin, and he cared well for one of the people I care most about. I don't know what to do, what to say, how I should conduct my day. He lived too far away for me to comfort his family and friends, too far removed from my life to do anything but sit in shock. Today I have to go to class, then to work, then to more class, and my world doesn't stop. But shouldn't it stop? A lot of people's worlds stopped last night.

I remember back a few years ago when I was sitting at my desk at work I couldn't help but overhear a conversation my boss was having with a bussiness associate dying of cancer. She talked to him for a while, was very sweet and kind, but as soon as she hung up she had to take the next call. She had to be cheerful, persuasive, and full of good salesmanship. No one was dying in our world, and we had to move on to the next thing. And yet there was someone out there whose life was changing slowly until it left him all together.

My life isn't actually affected by Brad's death, and yet shouldn't it be? How do I grieve for someone so removed? I know I need to - the knot in my stomach tells me that. I guess all I can do is pray and write. I'll write here and I'll write to the people whose world has stopped for a while. I don't really know how to finish this post, so here's Brad. We'll miss you.